Megan Rapinoe had one chance to salvage her career after the devastating end of her as a player. She took a broadcasting position with ESPN.
In a single one-hour broadcast designed to test her ability to play the part, Rapinoe buckled and failed.
“She showed up dressed like a clown,” said ESPN Program Director Joe Barron, “Then she acted like one.”
According to eyewitnesses, Rapinoe jumped on the table twice, once to cluck like a chicken, and walked off the set twice to “tinkle” just off-
camera so the microphones picked it up.
“The straw that broke the camel’s back was when she went on a rant about Jordan being a ball hog and Scotty Pippin not getting enough
credit,” said Barron, “Mike got a sneaker line and Pippin got a pair for Christmas once. Once.”
Rapinoe had to be cut loose immediately so her antics weren’t seen by the woke lefties on the ESPN Board of Trustees, who might find the
whole clown show endearing and try to pull off their own version of Dennis Miller on Monday Night Football.
Amidst the uncertainty surrounding Johnny’s predicament in the well and the fate of Christmas itself, the possibility of Lassie’s heroic rescue remains uncertain.
Patriots, the outcome hangs in the balance, leaving us with no definitive answer. God Bless America.