Garth Brooks and Taylor Swift have both been denied a place in the Toby Keith Tribute Concert.

The planning for the Toby Keith tribute concert is in its early stages, with a clear directive: only artists respected by Toby will grace the stage.

Taylor Swift, who distanced herself from Toby after achieving fame, and Garth Brooks, who veered away from country music altogether, sought to spotlight themselves following Toby’s passing. “We weren’t going to allow that,” remarked Ted Nugent’s Stage Manager Joe Barron. “Those two will do anything to hog the limelight.”

Karen Kardashian Keith, Toby’s wife, adamantly stated that individuals Toby held in low regard would not be permitted to perform his hit songs at the tribute.

“Could you even imagine that girl singing ‘Red Solo Cup’?” Karen questioned. “I doubt she even knows the lyrics. As for Garth, he wanted to perform ‘I’ll Never Smoke Weed with Willie Again,’ but since Jimmy Buffett is alive, he suggested bringing Gene Simmons. What in the world?”

At this juncture, patriots, it seems there’s something awfully suspicious about this situation. In all my years of journalistic pursuits, no name has flowed as smoothly as Karen’s. That has to signify something.

The Kardashian family has opted out of the event entirely. “We sent a basket of mini-muffins,” Chloe revealed on her TikTok account. “I truly hope whoever he is made it to heaven.”

Such a heartfelt sentiment, young lady. God bless you. And God Bless America.

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