At the conclusion of the sixth game of the season, with six more games ahead, the principal of Joseph Barron Senior High School in Des Moines found himself with no alternative but to terminate the new coach—former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick.
Kaepernick had quietly accepted the position to maintain his connection to football, but right from the outset, things took a downward turn. “The kids couldn’t tolerate him,” remarked Principal Jack Bowman. “He had a knack for… rubbing people the wrong way.”
Parents were kept in the dark about the coach’s identity, only being informed of his “impressive background in the game.” However, it became apparent that Kaepernick was pushing players to kneel during the National Anthem within just three weeks of his tenure.
With a winless start of 0-6 after another three weeks, Bowman felt compelled to make a change.
ALLOD Sportsball Analyzer Tara Newhole notes that oddsmakers in Vegas predicted Kaepernick’s coaching tenure to last between one and three seasons. Those who bet the under are now in a favorable position.
“If you had combined that bet with Taylor flaunting her tonsils every time Travis Kelce touched the ball, you’d be in 90 to 1 heaven. Football has certainly changed, patriots. Let’s hope the school makes a better choice next time. God bless America.”