Organizing Hollywood’s prestigious awards ceremonies is a meticulous process involving various committees. Among the most challenging tasks falls upon the Presenters Committee, responsible for selecting and vetting numerous individuals. Prior to their deliberations, each committee member has the opportunity to disqualify one presenter through a secret ballot. This year, the entire Oscar Committee unanimously opted to exclude Robert DeNiro.
“Nobody wishes to endure his impassioned tirades on stage. He appears rather absurd behind the podium, resembling a diminutive white Papa Smurf,” remarked James Woods. “He has forfeited all respectability.”
Joe Barron, this year’s Oscar Chairman, expressed doubt regarding DeNiro’s future invitations to awards shows. “He’s a toxic nuisance,” Barron declared. “He should consider himself fortunate to have never experienced the wrath of Will Smith at Chris Rock’s proximity.”
Entertainment Correspondent Tara Newhole of ALLOD offered her perspective, likening the narrative to the unfounded claim that Whoopi Goldberg had her Lifetime Achievement Award revoked by the Golden Globes Ethics Committee. “You folks just love fabricating committees,” Newhole quipped. “Why not establish the ‘Taters are Dumbasses Committee’ and be done with it?”
Regrettably, the existence of the “Taters are Dumbasses Committee” is already confirmed, its activities widely recognized across the internet. Consequently, Newhole’s assertion stands corrected and verified.
There’s little more to add to this saga, patriots. God Bless America.