If you tuned into The Academy Awards, you likely witnessed the debacle involving John Cena, a man purportedly dedicated to children’s causes, making a spectacle of himself on a global stage. You’re not the only one who observed this. The individuals behind the ad campaigns that sustain Cena’s career were also among the audience, and they were far from impressed.
“We transitioned from having a respected actor and wrestling champion to aligning with another figure from the woke left,” stated Under Armour President Joe Barron. “As a result, we won’t be renewing his contract. This decision alone will cost Cena over $10 million annually. When combined with the four other companies distancing themselves from him, it’s clear there are significant repercussions for tarnishing what is typically a family-friendly event.”
ALLOD Entertainment Correspondent Tara Newhole noted that while the atmosphere at the Oscars wasn’t as explosive as in previous years, incidents like this one didn’t exactly improve matters either.
“You misled me into thinking the Oscars were happening here at the Days Inn,” Newhole lamented on a hot mic. “So I settled for a chicken finger basket and bought into your nonsense. Because whatever.”
It appears that after all this time, Tara is finally grasping why America’s Last Line of Defense has some of the most popular content on the internet: it only needs to be true at the Days Inn down the street. God Bless America.
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