Kroger and Publix, two prominent retail grocery chains in the United States, are taking a proactive stance against Tyson Foods and its recent policies. According to representatives from both companies, Tyson must address its plans to hire a significant number of migrant workers and its program to incorporate insect proteins into its chicken products.
“We’re standing firm,” stated Leon Kroger, Vice President of Marketing and the sole remaining namesake employed by the food giant. Mike Publix, who communicates through an interpreter due to his proficiency in Swahili, conveyed, “M’nau ka liahnsa (click click pop) g’dila (click) gow,” which loosely translates to “Mi amo Brick doesn’t actually mean ‘my name is Brick’ in Spanish, it’s conjugated incorrectly.”
“It’s challenging to grasp the sentiment,” remarked Kroger, “but I’ve known Mike for a long time, and when he says (click click pop), he means it.”
Tyson declined to comment on the matter, stating it might be “the dumbest thing they’ve ever heard.” This suggests they may not be familiar with our work.
We did not seek the opinion of ALLOD Journalisticator Tara Newhole. Lately, she has been unkind, and on a recent trip to Houston, she refused to bring me a Whataburger with no Miracle Whip so I could add real mayo myself. All in all, patriots, this endeavor may not have been worthwhile. God Bless America.