There will be several gatherings to commemorate the life of Toby Keith. However, the private gathering held by his friends and family in Oklahoma won’t include Taylor Swift.
“The family needs to shield itself from the media frenzy,” stated Keith Spokesman Joe Barron. “They can’t risk Toby’s final event on earth turning into a spectacle akin to the NFL playoffs.”
According to a study by The Nielsen Corporation, if the event were televised, Taylor Swift would likely receive as much, if not more, camera time than Toby Keith.
“It’s almost logical,” remarked Nielsen President Joe Barron. “Especially considering Toby’s… passing. He’ll probably have minimal live camera coverage. The family is concerned that whenever they show images of Toby or his casket, the media might instead focus on Taylor’s reactions.”
“That makes sense, doesn’t it, folks? The last Chiefs game I watched was practically a Taylor Swift show. They skipped most of the third quarter while Tony Romo analyzed what it must have felt like for Travis to witness the Eras Tour, knowing he’s heading home with the star.”
Regarding Swift, it’s evident she’s leveraging the event for the publicity she assumes her status as one of the most renowned individuals globally has granted her. Accumulating nearly a billion social media followers may seem effortless after the initial hundred million. Nonetheless, she may face the consequences when boycotts ensue. As the saying goes, “Go woke, go broke.” God Bless America.