“Since 1918, General Mills has featured champions from the sporting world on Wheaties cereal boxes. This year, the spotlight was reserved for Megan Rapinoe, anticipated to return home triumphantly from Sweden with another World Cup victory.
However, instead of a victory, Rapinoe returned home after a disappointing loss, leaving General Mills to reassess their decision. “We had to reconsider our choice of featuring Ms. Rapinoe this year,” stated General Mills Chairman Joe Barron. “Our tradition dictates that only champions grace our box.”
Unhappy with the decision, Rapinoe threatened legal action against the company for “damage to her image,” seemingly forgetting that her performance, not a cereal company, led to the situation.
General Mills may now consider featuring Riley Gaines, who recently earned recognition in Texas for her controversial views. Sitting alongside Governor Greg Abbott, Gaines advocated against certain policies, aiming to ensure future success for young women in sports.”
“Thanks to this groundbreaking legislation,” remarked Gaines, “I anticipate boosting my following to become the next Tomi Lahren. Although, Tomi doesn’t possess the backside that I do.” Lahren retaliated, criticizing Riley’s facial features, only to be swiftly shut down with a mention of her prominent forehead.
It’s a triumphant moment when individuals like Rapinoe face consequences for expressing political opinions that oppose the right. God Bless America.