“After only six games into the season, with six more to go, the principal of Joseph Barron Senior High School in Des Moines found himself with no alternative. He had to terminate the employment of the new coach — former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick.
Kaepernick had taken the coaching position quietly, hoping to remain connected to football. However, from the outset, things took a turn for the worse. “The kids couldn’t tolerate him,” remarked Principal Jack Bowman. “He just seemed to have a knack for… rubbing people the wrong way.”
Parents were kept in the dark about the identity of the coach, only informed of his “impressive background in the game.” It soon became apparent, however, that Kaepernick was attempting to introduce kneeling during the National Anthem to the players after just three weeks.
With an 0-6 start and three more weeks passed, Bowman made the decision to make a change.
ALLOD Sportsball Analyzer Tara Newhole noted that bookies in Vegas had Kaepernick lasting between one and three seasons, so those who bet on the under are currently in a favorable position.”
“Had you coupled that bet with Taylor flaunting her tonsils every time Travis Kelce touched the ball, you’d be on cloud nine in heaven. Football just isn’t what it once was, patriots. Nonetheless, this school now has an opportunity to make a better choice next time. God Bless America.”